i cannot do anything at all.

i cannot even comfort my friend at her darkest point.
what am i going to do?

rip my hair apart, scream, cry?
nothing seems to work for me.

the Worst has come for her, at least.
but i am so afraid,

i am really very afraid that the Worst may come for me.
nothing beats this at all.

not only am i afraid of this tragedy i may face,

i'm afraid of many other things.

i'm afraid of the papers i might face.

i'm afraid of the disappointment i will face.

i'm afraid of the friendships i might lose.

but i cannot do anything about it at all.

because i am so afraid,

i'm going to do smth about it.

i will STUDY. study so hard for my papers.

study like nv bfore.

therefore..

i hope, when i come back,

i can proudly say to you that i HAD studied,

and i have great results to show everyone.

if not,

my life is practically rather useless.

however, i may come back on short notes about how my life is getting on.

but one week before the exams, im out of this internet world.

this may be good for me,

and i hope so.